One of the greatest skills that you can develop is the ability to engage in ego-free communication. Many people are so engrossed in their own stories that they miss an opportunity to truly connect, never realizing that the reason they feel unheard is because they are not taking the time to listen themselves.
When entering into a conversation do your best to be as present and conscious as you can be. If you have an agenda or a specific idea to get across, notice that, but be willing to flow with what is offered without attaching to a particular outcome. When you need to define your boundaries, do so in a clear and kind manner – the other person may not hear or understand (remember, they too are prone to listening through the filters of the ego) and ultimately it’s up to you to ensure that you do not allow others to cross those lines.
Be the change you wish to see. If you want to ensure that your interactions are authentic, be clear within yourself first. You may discover that without the ego’s manipulations, you learn something new about the other person’s life situation, perception or challenges… which was actually the true purpose behind the need to connect in the present moment.
- Choose not to take things too personal – two unique worlds are momentarily connecting and you may be talking from two significantly different vibrational frequencies
- Recognize that there is no right or wrong, only various perceptions. The ego equates “winning an argument” with living or dying and it suddenly becomes the more important thing in the world to get the other person to agree with you or understand your perception.
- Meet the other person where they are. Even if you sincerely disagree, the more you become entrenched in an idea or perception, the more their ego will engage. Instead, listen with an open heart. One approach is to say something like, “I never thought of it in that way before” – this neutrality creates a space for authentic and healthy interactions. Then, you can offer your insight if it feels appropriate in an easy and open manner.
If you choose to see every interaction as an opportunity to learn something, that willingness will be felt by those around you. Imagine a world where no one gets triggered by the actions or words of another… it begins with you.
Today my intention is to be an authentic example of compassion and unconditional love.