We all move through life with preferences. We may prefer sunny days over rain, kindness over harshness, or ease over struggle. There’s nothing inherently wrong with that – it’s part of being human. Preferences can guide us toward what nourishes us and away from what drains us. They can even help us shape a life that feel aligned.
However, the moment a preference hardens into a demand – this must happen, or else I cannot be at peace – we lose our freedom. Instead of allowing life to flow, we grip it tightly, and that tension becomes suffering.
The Trap of Attachment
Think about how often we tell ourselves things like:
- My partner must understand my point of view
- Life should be fair
- My body must always feel healthy
- I need to have a certain amount of money to be successful
The problem isn’t the desire itself – it’s the rigidity. Life, by its nature, doesn’t always cooperate. When we cling to attachment, we end up fighting reality, and that fight drains us.
Turning Back Toward Freedom
Instead of requirements, we can hold preferences lightly:
- I prefer harmony, but I can still meet discord with compassion
- I prefer health, but I can also learn from illness
- I prefer sunshine, but I can rest (or dance!) in the rain
This shift doesn’t mean giving up our desires or living passively. It means staying open, flexible, and curious – choosing to meet life as it is, not only as we want it to be.
When we allow our preferences to remain soft, life feels spacious. There is freedom in knowing that peace isn’t contingent on everything aligning perfectly.
May you honor your preferences without being bound by them.
May you hold life softly and discover peace in the Now.
May you meet unexpected events with grace and wonder.
And may your heart remain free – open to joy, resilient in challenge, and steady in love.