Be the change

“The root cause of most difficulties in relationships is the fact that we want something from another. We imagine that we need the other person to be a certain way. Why? perhaps so that we ourselves will then feel a certain way – safe, supported, appreciated, happy. When we don’t get what we want, when other people don’t act the way we wish they would, relationship difficulties begin. We then view these difficulties as impediments to happiness, even obstacles on our spiritual path. But these difficulties – especially in relationships – are themselves the path. While we might prefer that a person be a particular way, it is our misguided requirement that they be this way that stops real love from flowing. Be giving up our requirements of others, we open to the love that already connects us.”
~ Ezra Bayda

Look at what you desire to experience in your relationships, then bring that attribute into your own way of being. If you perceive that you need someone to be a certain way, go within an observe whatever it is that you feel you lack. Immediately and consciously recognize that you alone can provide this for yourself. If it is the words, “I love you”, kind gestures or support, pay attention to the self talk that ensues when you are denied what you want. Disappointments motivate us to awaken. When you can come to a relationship whole and complete, peaceful and accepting, you’ll discover that the need to experience conflict disappears.